Well good morning ppls. How are we all? I updated my Sparkpeople blog yesterday and I don’t want to repeat myself on both blogs so I thought I’d write wordpress when I felt inspired. I’m doing this this morning at the cost of writing an email to M in Canada which is what I normally do when I’m waiting for breakkie to cool down.
It’s been an interesting week ….
You know I’ve had anxiety for I don’t know how long now and on Wednesday it finally left. Phew and praise God. 
.It got overwhelming on Monday and Tuesday of last week and I spent the time, crying, in bed, confused and not eating. You can tell when I’m mentally sick cos I just lose my appetite and don’t eat!!! I also stay in bed a lot. I was thinking about doing the Great Escape – that I haven’t done for about 4 years and spammed Dr. C no end about it (poor man.) but only as far as the Hebrides cos I’m skint! I vow never to go back on Brodie because Maureen told me not to return last time I was there and just ‘cope’. Yeah whatever. Like I go in there for least little thing. Also when trying to tell the nurses on Monday when I had to go to the chaplaincy she was less than helpful. Telling me to snap out of something when I don’t trust you will just result in me bawling all the more and yelling @ you to leave me alone. I needed time and a safe place to cry and when I’m ill I’m very sensitive and cry over least little thing.
Too many ppl have been prying about how much I earn busking. Not least L whom I don’t trust because she’s jealous about my income and K off the ward. I actually told K off the ward and now feel terrible. Must mark him down as not to be trusted. It’ll be all over the ward by now and I need those monies to give me flexibility with the debt busting budget. I’m not going out busking today cos I’ve earnt enough this week and I don’t want to be massively over what I’m allowed to earn with the DWP. So many folk see me busking. I have to be careful. It’s early days so I haven’t decided if I’m going to declare it if I go over by a few pounds. I’ll leave it another few weeks before I decide that. But all I want to earn is what I’m allowed to earn. I want to keep this all above board. I’m not like a beggar on Union St earning £50-60 a day and it all going on drugs etc and them not declaring it.
So yeah, now back eating and trying to keep busy. I only have 2 more weeks of my support worker due to lack of funding so pray I can get into a routine with the housework. The budget has also gone awol the past few weeks so pray I can get back on track with that.
Blessings…breakkie will be cool now
J
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